living with mistakes, ain’t…

About 15 years ago I had to write the thing below because I felt so wretched after doing what I had sworn I never would do. Sadly, it is best to never say never. Life is easy and it can be hard; life is short and it is long. It hurts deeply because sometimes it is astounding.

 

Leaping with Daisy

maybe the biggest mistake of my

life was telling you that I would 

always look out for you and that 

you were the best dog that ever has been.

I often said, when you looked at me with

an eye of uncertainty, don’t worry

my friend  you’re safe with us. We 

look out for our Daisy Dog, the 

best dog that ever has been! Now, 

of course I can’t know if you were 

the best dog that’s ever been, but

for sure you’re in the top ten; No!

make that top three.

I wrote about you with love in the 

story of the Schnud, and was 

always proud to tell of you a story or two; 

in fact I still do. That time when you 

found the Schnud who’d flown 

into a tree; that day you herded the

afternoon crowd at the winery and when 

you leaped with the jackrabbit not

wanting to ever catch it, because the 

running and jumping was the thing.

Even after you got sick and couldn’t 

walk, you wanted to play and did

your best to catch that moldy old

tennis ball, front paws moving in

anticipation with eyes watching for

the juke, that surely was coming, ‘cause

I would try to fool you, wouldn’t I?

So, when we loaded you into the 

hatchback and told you we were going
to the dock-schmock! you weren’t 

ready for the ultimate juke.

It wasn’t ‘til the doctor, who was nice 

enough to come out to the car to give 

you the needle and the little assistant who

was holding you as you were put to death

was watching us aghast as we were chanting 

“The Scripture of Great Wisdom”  she and us crying

so wretchedly that our sobs tore the strands 

of my heart in two. You looked into

my eyes and I knew…

Oh, sweet Daisy! What a great mistake

I made, in thinking that

I knew the future and

that I knew myself and that I even now 

know what compassion you are 

capable of. I know you are leaping 

with me as I try to run from the 

feeling of despair of having turned away.

Avalokiteshvara!

Great Kanzeon! Kuan Yin!

Please help me to help Daisy

so she knows it was a mistake and 

that I will always try to learn from

it and never abandon another being

again. Especially the one who is writing

this. Thank You Kanzeon Daisy,

Regarder of the Howls of the World…

 

Homage to all the Buddhas in all the worlds!

Homage to all the Bodhisattvas in all the worlds!

Homage to the Scripture of Great Wisdom!

One thought on “living with mistakes, ain’t…

  1. I almost couldn’t read that. What a way with words! That described so many of my experiences so perfectly. I also got the vet to come out to the car for my dog Jake. He was so ravaged by the cancer that had consumed him that I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt I had made the right decision that time. In fact I hoped against hope that if I ever reached that point, someone would rescue me. But so many others, and all the times I let my life become untenable with a house full of beings that I had rescued that then had to be rescued from the consequences of my actions.

    Liked by 1 person

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