It’s been an interesting week. Aging, personal history, karmic history, present and future all swirling about in an almost visible way, and there was nothing I could do except try to get still, within it. Some success sufficient to not only ease negative feelings but also tamp down hopeful future-casts. Another week in the life of one who cares deeply and can be thoughtless and careless.
I know that the diminuendo in memory, which has never been top-notch, is getting some compensation in a small, but noticeable, decrease in worry.
I forgot, until yesterday, that nothing exists in a given state by itself for very long. It changes or there are side effects, or compensations within whatever the situation is. So, my mind is more at leisure.
However, I also realize I can’t just sit back. I need to make efforts, neither grand nor petty, yet sufficient to see if they will produce accommodation with the world as it presents itself, or are merely a fear based scramble for a status quo that ain’t quo no mo’.
I think I may be in a reasonable position to settle into a period of life where I actually can allow a vast decrease in expectation and reap a bumper crop of sufficiency.
I once wrote a Blues song titled
“Don’t Share Your Dreams With A Fool”,
After I had that deep title, I couldn’t
Go any deeper, so I cannot find words.
But, I know the music because it
Changes when I do get the Blues and
I can hum it and whistle and feel it.