A few days ago after a couple of conversations with people that I take refuge in (monks), I felt a load lift. It was an old load that I’ve carried around for a very, very long time. Longer than I can remember; it’s sometimes a part of me and other times I want to get rid of it, because i feel the weight.
Yet, yet. I also know that there is nothing I need to excise or get rid of, but there are some things that could use a fresh view and closer seeing/looking on my part.
So it was, and I feel less dis-eased. “What a difference a day makes”, as the old song title would have it: “Twenty-four little hours brought the sun and the flowers. where there used to be rain…” (toss up between whose version was better; Dinah Washington or Little Anthony?), yes this too shall pass, and return again in a slightly different form.
I do need to see all the facets of this jewel it seems.
Tomorrow I return to temple full-time(ish) and look forward to buckling down a little in my practice. At this point I foresee maybe a couple of months there, but time and situation will determine things. I may want to get a little job at some point or find a to great to pass up deal elsewhere in regard to a living situation in this super-tight and expensive real estate market; but mostly I want to drop my little plans and designs for a while and just abide and allow things to develop without all my effing input.
Cheesh! I can be a load.
Today I am very grateful and content. So many nice, honest, compassionate people in my life and I persist in worrying about unessential things. Oh, well.
I do look forward to tomorrow though.
Another day to try and do better.
What could be better?
Nothing, that’s what!