108 solid…

The swirl of youth

great fear and bravado

intermingled. In

side this very being

contemptuous of life

committed to no

thing or any one or two.

single action twenty

two shorts sub sonic

everyone a danger and

no one or thing safe

from this fear.

Oh, dear that never

was or could be. Me,

only means world

alone and no end in

sight. So.

Now, gratitude flows

no source or reason

for, just naturally

appearing at time

and situation with

no co relation but

connections deep to

fear drives aimlessly

in youthful night.

Now, know still, and solid in

this dream, molecules are

universes drifting

in purpose, fully.

 

 

Future has arrived, and now?…

(A) a smallish apology to self and others (those few who view this nattering), and a thank you for your nice comments at times. The previous post was literally written in a haze. A haze of fever and fatigue due to some flu-cootie coursing through this body and mind thus making life and perception very interesting for a few days. As is often true, if I’m willing to see, there was a lot of teaching in the illness. One piece of that was a clarity within the haze that was not neatly expressible by this natterer and pecker(er) of keyboards. So, having said that, I now venture to say this:

I am going to offer a simple explanation of a common misperception that has a lot of truth in it but misses some vital information. I’m going to use my limited knowledge of how a computer works and how a human being works and see if I can make sense of something that niggles at me in various ways in various situations, all of them requiring (or begging for), a larger context.

All humans are wired exactly the same!

The actual schematic varies because we are all custom built!

The actual build varies because of slightly different needs by the Apps we run!

We all run Basic Apps from the great App Store!

No one App-mixture is exactly like Another! 

When two identical Apps appear, they are still on separate machines (twins), so Different!

Many of the Apps come with the Basic Model (OS), many more are downloaded for Free!

Others come at a cost (often to be determined later)!

The simplest can be easy/difficult to run, depending on Configuration, in Relation, to others.

The basic system, Always needs Updating. The apps (new and old), Always need Updating.

We (OS + System), have a built in Algorithm (Choices), that allows an outside View of our Selves!

That, is the mechanism (or OS), built in, by which we access Outside, Unknown (as yet), Input!

We can call that the Higher Power, The Force, That Which Is, God, The Eternal, The Unborn!

We, have a Choice!

To use, or not.

Seeking outside, or inside, the Self –  is always a volunteer

Effort!

System overload🙂

The view is great from here…

Talking with a friend the other evening we got on the subject of being nice to others even though we don’t feel it. My friend thought that there was an aspect of in-authenticity or just being phony when we were nice to needy annoying co-workers. while not feeling that way, at all.

My thoughts were that the only thing that matters is how we act, not how we feel. Our feelings are extremely mutable; we feel rancor towards someone and they bring us a little gift when we have a birthday, now we like them. We feel friendly toward someone and they don’t respond to us in a way we want and now we’re on the fence about them; so on and so forth…

If we act in a kind or neutral way, despite how we feel, we are developing a mental/physical habit that will, in time, often change how we feel. This is good.

The phoniness comes from our intentions in acting nice. If our intentions are mostly selfish, then we are in phony territory, ready to homestead. But just a natural human aspect that could use a little help or tidying up.

Most of our “personality” and our general response system to the world, is just an accumulation of old habits (some of them older than we may know), that are so ingrained that we falsely use them to identify us, as “me”. One proof of this is the fact that many of us have had the experience of transforming some old and unhelpful habits that were not useful and during that process we were somewhat surprised that we had never noticed the negative aspects of that part of our “personality”. Hell, we may even have thought is was cute or manly.

The tricky part of this is to see the situation(s) clearly and our part(s) in it. We have to face and look very closely at our most cherished possession; our story of ourselves, and that many times, we just sort of scroll roll past those parts of the story that we know to be unhelpful, or just not fair, right, honest or even true. It’s tough to face the fact that mostly we are full of baloney; or just straw. We grow the straw, and lord knows we slice the baloney.

The good news is, that is not a problem, it’s the human condition. Not seeing clearly. Not being able to step back just a few inches, or feet, or miles from our insitence that our view may be blocked, or skewed and generally inaccurate.

That is the place where change is initiated, not just waited on while simultaneously waiting to die.

 

The view is great from here, its filled with me, 

I like what I see, except when I don’t;  and

A voice-over starts, just like in the movies,  that

Explains me, and how I act and feel, to me; and then

And there my view changes to go along with my story,

About me, you, them, those, this, that; and all them

Things that seem outside of the me, yet some-

How I know can’t exist without. How, how to

Connect? Is the truth just a glance away? Maybe?

 

 

 

 

 

we be, do, are…

 

When the petals fall

and thunders roll 

still mountains erupt

we take refuge in the wonder of Nature

we take refuge in the power of Nature

we take refuge in the majesty of Nature

Flower

Lightning

 Glacial peaks

the coming into and out of

being and form

fascinates and

we think we are a fixtures 

yet all else

changes

ha ha

ho hum

 

Mother’s Day…

Liebe Mutti,

Happy Mothers Day!

Thank you for this life.

You provided all your life.

Raising two boys; one in Berlin from 1943 and me from 1947 in wartime and post-war Germany.

Then brought us to America along with your own mother.

Three suitcases and $200.

You gave us everything.

Gratitude and Joy for a life of struggle and heartbreak and never giving up.

Love,

Helli

 

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Rain-natter…

The Mind,

My Mind.

It is. The

Object and

The observer.

Somewhere between

Those distinctions lies

the Truth of the

Matter.  Yet  I  can

See  that the fact is

I  forgot  what  I  was

Going to do,  yet one

More time.  Is anything

Going wrong?  No, not ever,

Just,  there’s always another

Tomorrow to  remember you,

And me, and them,  ‘n those

That  were then.  Or was it

Another time,  yet again?  I am

Not sure,  but one thing I do

Know;  is,  it is all,  slowly, going

Away,  Never to return.  Nor will

I.  We are all going a way,  One

Way,  or another.  This Thing,

It  is  an  Open circle  that  lets

Everyone in  and  not One  out.

Because  It  can not  contain.

We  go away,  on our  Own.

Memory and forgetfulness.

Birth and death,  in-between 

We spend  and invest  our time.

There’s so little of it  and 

So  much  too it all.

Right here.

Whoops! Gone. 

Any One Mind?

 

Anti-matter=natter…

All the choices in my life today are staggering when I stop to consider, that within a fairly wide range, I can do just about anything that can be dreamt of. On some things I would have to spend every penny that I have in one day, still I can actually live the life of the Gods of not too long ago.

I can be anywhere in the world in one day. I can eat food from thousands of places around the globe; fresh. I can be in snow and within hours be on a warm beach. I can send a thought or a clear image to thousands of people instantaneously. I can fly. I have at my fingertips the accumulated knowledge of mankind, of every tribe, every empire, every clan, every school that has ever kept records of its teachings.

It’s all at my beck and call.

What am I doing with this awesome power?

I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a cold drink of tonic water and lemon.

I’m watching a group of local Warriors engage in modern athletic competition (war), with a group that is known for having Blazed a Trail all the way to Portland, OR from far-flung distant points to the East many years ago.

I am connected to another person through a small device that lets me plan a future meal, while also connected to yet another person to arrange a meeting three weeks hence thirty miles away across a cold and deep Bay in the Pacific Ocean; 7,000 miles from where I was born.

All of the things that I can do today are possible through the help and effort of countless other beings, humans and otherwise. Beings that invented, built, transported, wrapped, delivered, set-up, and in some cases made possible by giving their lives during the thousands of discrete transactions that had to take place, so that I could have this evening as a small God-ling on a small planet in the incalculable immensity of the Universe, and still, I  suffer from the mistaken idea that I matter.

And,

I can make a small difference

And,

That matters