It has come to my attention that my mind is starting a process of being a bit of a bother to me personally.
Formerly I took a bit of pride in being able to see situations and their context clearly (for the most part, also some huge mistakes), and to be able to formulate a view of the world that seemed informed and rational (me being the rationalizer of course), and that clarity was present except for those years when I chose to not accept its presence.
These days, in the last year especially, there is a decline in memory and energy which often results in a type of lassitude that I’m not entirely comfortable with since it is not in my control, yet I am aware when it arises of itself.
I use all the usual strategies that aging folks do and like to talk about how those strategies don’t work so well because I forget to implement them in a timely fashion. As in beforehand.
So, this morning while musing on this, a new possibility opened up for me in how to see this situation as opportunity rather than an encroaching problem. It’s probably a combination of both aspects.
The way my mind is worryingly presenting itself of late is actually my seeing for the first time, on an on-going basis what my mind has been doing forever, its just that I’ve never noticed it before except during the process of mediation.
Through meditation I saw my awareness of the chattering mind as a plus, in order to orient me towards a different way of seeing what my thinking and mind really are, and that I have choices I hadn’t previously been aware of. Choices in how to think, what to think, what to believe when I’m thinking or what I believe without thinking. As well as the astounding number of different ‘minds’ that exist within me, which often don’t really communicate so much as just natter on and on.
So, I see my current/encroaching predicament as an opportunity to investigate and incorporate (mind/body), this awareness as a prompt to explore more thoroughly the place and use of this mind in positing spiritual questions, awareness and activity within the context of a more vibrant awareness that forgetfulness and sense of less-ness can offer.
It’s a matter of perception and choice, and I suspect I’ll have to learn, and see, if I can manage a consistent intention to view this process as a natural outcome of old age. One that has natural possibilities with positive outcomes being offered and which may just be mis-understood in our culture and society.
Anyway, that’s what’s coming to mind today. Everything in our lives comes to us a teaching if we make small shift in orientation and attitude and intention.
Columbus apparently was searching for India and got lost, said that he didn’t, and then realized he’d stumbled on to something quite unexpected that might useful. He wasn’t a genius he was someone looking for a place he’d heard about and was told it was “thataway” and found some support and went. We still don’t know the end of that story, because we are still living it.
Life is a journey
Purpose difficult to see
Meaning hard to assign
Every day we wake up and
Wonder why where when
Loading the horses, camels,
Boats, carts and bags or
Pockets, look ahead and go.