I’m staying at our temple for about 2 and 1/2 weeks while our monk is in England for a monastic conference. I’m here to just keep up the daily activities of the temple; it’s a good opportunity to do a bit of spiritual belt-tightening. Meditating three times a day and all the various ceremonies is a good way spend a couple of weeks.
Things are just beginning to settle down for me in relation to the grieving and letting go of some of goofy ideas and expectations that pushed and pulled me for a while.
Growing up is hard to do, especially when your in your latter mid-sixties.
A lot of hoping and yearning that I’ve lugged around is loosening its grip on me and I seem to be less needy; less caught up in the notion that I’m missing a part. I may be approaching a working contentment that doesn’t depend on outside circumstances, or the continuation of my lifelong habit of telling my story, about me, to myself; endlessly.
Time for meditation.
To be still