The privilege of aging…

I have had a week of rest after returning from Bay area and plan on getting some more. Had about three weeks of being very busy, a smallish car accident, my fault; and, just turned 70.

I told someone, not too long ago, that I had been telling myself that I was “older”, and that once you hit the “70” number, you’re old, period. That person said that 80 was the new 70. Great! I’ll go along with that. Reprieve, and even though only older sometimes I feel old.

That is not a complaint, bit of a grumble, maybe. I never in my wildest dreams (certainly before I got clean and sober and started practicing Buddhism; almost half-a life-time ago), did I ever think I would live this long. Yet, here I am and I feel OK.

That OK-ness mostly has to do with what I learned from the 12 Steps and the practice of meditation within the context of Buddhist principles and teachings.

Sometimes I don’t want to admit that I’m a Buddhist because I act like a jerk, or a general fool, and I don’t want to give Buddhism a bad name, but then again, trying to live by Buddhist teachings doesn’t mean one transcends human-ness, but rather, one tries to be fully human and aware so that when mistakes are made, or one goes SPLAT, then one (this one:), does one’s best to rectify those mistakes, stands up straight, looks up, asks for help and then, and this is the important part, one steps forward into life and tries one’s best, one more time…

Simple but not easy. The hard part is finding teachers who can not only teach the what and the why, but also teach and show, the how. I have been very fortunate in that area. I have been very fortunate in all areas.

I can still complain and snivel and whine a little, but when I stop, take stock, look around, and see, my life and its reality; I can see that all of life is a teaching for my own good.

I was with a small group of people a couple of days ago and several expressed their fear, doubt, anxiety and worry about the condition of the world. That it all seems to be coming apart at the seams. It can certainly feel that way to me at times as well, but I have noticed that those particular feelings usually coincide with my not getting what I want; the world not comporting to my wishes or behaving in accord with my standards, and generally not following  a path of comfort or peace of mind, for me.

Where in that view/place is there any possibility for change, that I can effect?

In how I look at things?

In how I view 

This uncomfortable reality.

Daggnabbitt!

Life  is  hard!

Yep!   But,  there

Is Conduct,  that

Eases   the   Way.

Un-clenching,  not

Insisting,  for one’s

Self,  or, others.

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