I love life. Everything comes and goes. Nothing stays the same and nothing changes into exactly what I want it to change into.
I don’t even change into what I want to change into. What a blessing.
All of my little schemes and plans and designs in my life have always been more worry, more distraction, more moving away from my center.
Every time. I mean every time I allowed life to proceed and I dropped my wants and purported needs, or vice versa; and just accepted what was being presented in my life, things tended to not only be less worrisome but also had less complications downstream.
I do forget that at times.
Sometimes I have wanted something for a long time and when I finally gave up, it appeared in a slightly different form and became part of my life.
I had a nice talking and walking time with a friend this evening, and we were able to reach an accommodation regarding a personal issue that was not only satisfying but conducive to future conduct that eases the Way. We spoke of and could agree on the view that when we all take more care and see things just a little below the obvious, we can act truly and leave less karma behind (after death), that other beings will have to deal with.
Less is more, turns out to be truer than ever for me. I have had several new areas open up in my personal training the last few days. Things that had been blind spots, became clear and after the initial upset it also became clear that the training we are engaged in when we seriously take the Precepts to heart, works at its own pace, but is always reliable. Especially if we take Refuge with good spiritual friends and essentially, just get on with it.
I was very disturbed, when the little being I have been harboring and nurturing within during my whole adult life, and throughout my sobriety and Zen practice, turned out to be a sort domesticated weasel. Cute, but still sort of like a weasel. (I don’t actually want to vilify the Weasel, because they are truly fine creatures to which we have assigned human failings so that we can feel better about ourselves. Sort of finger pointing and not noticing that what we are pointing to is us).
So, I found a great blind spot. And it was me. Whoda thunk?
I’m glad I am me (hmmmm?) and, a slow learner. I’m deeply grateful that I’ve been blessed with a long life despite my best efforts to the contrary, so that I can learn slow. Then again, what’s a couple of Kalpas for a sincere trainee?
Nothing, that’s what.
Life is short and
Life is long.