It’s been an interesting week. Aging, personal history, karmic history, present and future all swirling about in an almost visible way, and there was nothing I could do except try to get still, within it. Some success sufficient to not only ease negative feelings but also tamp down hopeful future-casts. Another week in the life of one who cares deeply and can be thoughtless and careless.
I know that the diminuendo in memory, which has never been top-notch, is getting some compensation in a small, but noticeable, decrease in worry.
I forgot, until yesterday, that nothing exists in a given state by itself for very long. It changes or there are side effects, or compensations within whatever the situation is. So, my mind is more at leisure.
However, I also realize I can’t just sit back. I need to make efforts, neither grand nor petty, yet sufficient to see if they will produce accommodation with the world as it presents itself, or are merely a fear based scramble for a status quo that ain’t quo no mo’.
I think I may be in a reasonable position to settle into a period of life where I actually can allow a vast decrease in expectation and reap a bumper crop of sufficiency.
I once wrote a Blues song titled
“Don’t Share Your Dreams With A Fool”,
After I had that deep title, I couldn’t
Go any deeper, so I cannot find words.
But, I know the music because it
Changes when I do get the Blues and
I can hum it and whistle and feel it.
I love Blues songs. I remember a meme about who can and can’t write and sing them. One was that if your name was Amber or Tanya, you couldn’t sing the blues, no matter how many men you killed in Memphis…
Yeah, blues not about numbers but feelings, and feelings count more than numbers if you know what I mean.
That’s a good first line for a blues song too:))))
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