Category Archives: schmoetry

Packing & Unpacking…

The next ten days or so will have us in the high 90’s every day. Real Summer. I have given myself ’til the 21st to have everything packed and stored so that the tenant can move into the house while I finish preparing for the move to the Bay area. I’ll be living at one of our temples for a time.

My wife died last January and I never took the time to slow down and take stock of this massive change in my way of being and doing. I got involved in ramping up an old smoldering friendship and desire that felt very grown-up and involved a friend of ours. Nothing was ever acted on in my wife’s lifetime but the desire pump was certainly primed. Anyway, things went too fast and that has all burned down to the waterline. So, now I have to take the time to see who I was, what I was doing, and why?

There were mistakes made because of not seeing things the way they actually were, and there were mistakes made because of a shared delusion. Very old karma that needed help. It may have gotten some help or it may have been fertilized and nurtured; and there may be more to this in other ways and days.

For now, however, there needs to be a time to settle down and strengthen the practice and be in an atmosphere of training and support rather than wishing and hoping and contention. Two things are sort of operative…

There’s no Fool

Like an Old fool.

And, it’s never, ever,

Too late to Wake

Up! and step

Forward into the

New day.  Just

Ahead. Of us.

Indwelling…

 

In trying to prepare for this move I am put into the position of having to take a very careful look at my life. All the things I have to move are things that we either brought with us from the past, or acquired here; and some of them are things that only I brought along and acquired. The latter being generally in the realm of thoughts, ideas and so forth that felt personal to me.

Now, that I am committed to this change of process/venue I see that I must do more than glance at the baggage I’m choosing to take with me and that which I leave entrusted to a future, which currently is wide open. Of course the future is always wide open, we rarely see that because of our own  plans and designs having primacy in our view the world(s).

The earth revolves around the Sun and we think it also revolves around us and our concerns. Turns out, one of those is not true.

In dwelling I seek a refuge from

That, which doesn’t tarry:,Those

Thoughts, feelings, yesterdays,

Tomorrows, ideas and plans,

Hopes and dreams; the Stuff of

Distraction, the Unpresent where

I find only a me, a dock, a platform,

From which I dread to venture. Thus,

Yes, thus, is the road not taken…