The next ten days or so will have us in the high 90’s every day. Real Summer. I have given myself ’til the 21st to have everything packed and stored so that the tenant can move into the house while I finish preparing for the move to the Bay area. I’ll be living at one of our temples for a time.
My wife died last January and I never took the time to slow down and take stock of this massive change in my way of being and doing. I got involved in ramping up an old smoldering friendship and desire that felt very grown-up and involved a friend of ours. Nothing was ever acted on in my wife’s lifetime but the desire pump was certainly primed. Anyway, things went too fast and that has all burned down to the waterline. So, now I have to take the time to see who I was, what I was doing, and why?
There were mistakes made because of not seeing things the way they actually were, and there were mistakes made because of a shared delusion. Very old karma that needed help. It may have gotten some help or it may have been fertilized and nurtured; and there may be more to this in other ways and days.
For now, however, there needs to be a time to settle down and strengthen the practice and be in an atmosphere of training and support rather than wishing and hoping and contention. Two things are sort of operative…
There’s no Fool
Like an Old fool.
And, it’s never, ever,
Too late to Wake
Up! and step
Forward into the
New day. Just
Ahead. Of us.