I was sitting in the back yard of our little temple in Berkeley reading a book on Zen titled “Novice to Master” by Soko Morinaga one of the great modern Japanese Zen Masters in the Rinzai tradition. The book is about  his lifelong training as a Zen monk and how he moved from novice to Master. The Subtitle on the front page of the book is;

An Ongoing Lesson in the Extent of My Own Stupidity:

In one part he is writing about the aspect of enlightenment which most Westerners think is the point of all this Buddhism & Zen, however, many have written and stated that enlightenment, as such, is only the beginning, because you realize that what you have been seeking (so strenuously), has always been an integral part of you. Through the process of all this training and practice we get glimpses, or as I like to think of them “glances”, that point towards It.

Anyway, as  I was reading and enjoying the unusually warm California Winter, in the back yard of the temple I’ve been attending for almost 25 years, I glanced at the little Buddha statue off the walkway next to the garage and was struck by  how that is exactly how training has manifested in my life. I see myself surrounded by the practical aspects of the world and I do try and appreciate them and their usefulness, but so many times I don’t see the small quiet presence of the Buddha, (or Christ, Allah, or God, or The Eternal), that is in all aspects of the world and life we are in. “It” just waits and attends quietly because it is in all things. I get easily distracted by my version of the world, but that afternoon, for a few moments a great calm and peace came over me and I shed a few tears. My not so secret response to quite a few moments in life; and I thought:

This is the 

Way that It Is.

Fountains gurgle and splish

Yes; Splish and splatter!

Birds twitter,  Suns Shine,

Ladders hang,

Chairs folded, lean, and

Little watering cans and

The Buddha, stand and

Wait to receive. Openly,

And to give. Freely. 

To sit up straight in the presence of the Buddha’s and Ancestors.

That is a teaching which applies to the fact that we all make mistakes. Sometimes we make the same mistake over and over. We make those mistakes out of ignorance (not knowing), through habit patterns, yearning, insistence, wilfulness, greed, hate and delusion. Sometimes we make mistakes out of the notion that we are doing good, or a slightly misplaced sense of right vs. wrong. Whatever the motive for our mistake, it is just that a mistake. As spiritual adults we have the opportunity to recognize that we made a mistake and then can become willing to alter the climate/circumstance within which the mistake was made. We don’t have to go into self-condemnation or judgement. We don’t find it useful to go into the “drama” of the mistake. We just recognize that a mistake was made and that we need to look and see where we can improve and try not to repeat. We state our willingness to change, to ourselves and to those aspects of ourselves that we feel can help us. Yes, in a sense we talk to our selves.

Our higher Selves.

Our deeper Selves.

Those aspects of us that we strive to connect with when we want to establish, or re-establish, our connection to That From Which We Feel Disconnected.

You know, the Buddha Nature thing, the God thing.

That Thing.

That thing

The Higher Power.

It.  That Which Is!

Then, we work at changing.

The Latin root for the word Religion is, Re “Ligare”. To bind.

The same root for the words ligaments or ligature.

Re-Connect;

Re-Attach. Perhaps,

Grow back Together.

Lots of Capitals there.

For A Good Reason.

Smiley Face. (Yep, you read right. Smiley faces have Buddha Nature too.)

So, when we sit up straight in the presence of the Buddhas and Ancestors. We display our willingness to participate in the inevitable process of change towards the good. We are   showing our willingness to participate in this change towards the good (the Fewer Mistakes Way), this is in accord with the Five Laws of the Universe.

They are:

1.) The physical world is not answerable to my personal will.

2.) The Law of Change

3.) The Law of Karma is inevitable and inexorable

4.) Without fail evil (i.e.all manner of mistakes), is vanquished and

     good prevails; this too is inexorable.

5.) The intuitive knowledge of Buddha Nature.

All quite simple, and

Here’s the real beauty of it

All. It works on the biggest

Mistakes as well as the littlest.

How Sweet is That?

Way too busy the last few days. Last Wednesday while having lunch at my favorite Mexican restaurant, Connie’s Cantina on Grand Ave. in Oakland, my truck window was smashed and my Buddhist robe and kesa and two computers were stolen, The computers were underneath the Robe/Kesa cloth bag they travel in, so they were a bonus to an otherwise useless item to the guys who took the cloth bag. Life in the big city. Karma.

Things are going to H-E Double-Hockey-Sticks; in a handbasket:)

After several days of  back and forth between destinations on crowded freeways; last night I managed to collapse from exhaustion, literally. At least I hope that’s all it was, besides unnerving, that is. I have to remember I’m no Spring chicken. Hell, I’m an Autumn chicken.

These are the times when when the gratitude for my life really kicks in. To have gotten to this point, and relatively sane and healthy, is pretty fortunate; considering how I squandered my earlier years in pursuit of a fast life. Turns out it wasn’t really fast, more like hectic and careening.

Today I have another opportunity to practice seeing life as it presents itself each day.

THIS is four days later. Things have settled down quite a bit. After a phone call to a physician friend I was able to get some perspective on collapsing. She is a great doctor and and good friend and a terrific diagnostician. She asked about twenty questions and they were logically sequential and in a way sort of daunting because they challenged short term memory and exposed squeamishness about personal details. After all, she is a friend not my doctor. Then again, I don’t really have a lot to hide. Then again (part 2) there are things in my past that I can’t/won’t talk about, because there is no inherent value in discussing them. I have a feeling, (it may be a mistake to keep it), that some things are meant to be processed internally, or held closely. The preceding sentence may come as a shock to those who know me personally, and who may have, on very rare occasion, harbored a thought along the lines of “Does he ever not say what’s running across that little brain?”

Anyway, I want to include this poem I found in my computer that I got from a Dharma talk given some years ago at Shasta Abbey.

Lord, Thou knowest better than I knowest myself that I am growing older and will someday be Old.
Keep me from the fatal habit of thinking that I must say something on every subject and on every occasion.
Release me from craving to straighten out everyones affairs, make me thoughtful but not moody; helpful but not bossy—-
With my vast store of wisdom, it seems a pity to not use it all. But, thou knowest Lord that I want a few friends at the end.
Keep my mind free from creating of endless details—Give me wings that I may get to the point.
Seal my lips on my aches and pains—They are increasing and the love of rehearsing them grows sweeter as the years go by.
I dare not ask for Grace enough to enjoy the tales of others pains, but help me to endure them with patience—
I dare not ask for improved memory, but for a growing humility and lessening cocksureness when my memory seems to clash with the memory of others.
Teach me the glorious lesson, that occassionaly I may be mistaken. Keep me reasonably sweet, I do not want to be a saint, some of them are so hard to live with. But, a sour old person is one of the crowning works of the Devil.
Give me the ability to see good things in unexpected places and talents in unexpected people, and give me, Oh Lord, the Grace to tell them so.