In transit in the next few weeks moving to Alameda. I’ve seem to be a transient. From Tekoa to Berkeley to Vallejo, and now to Alameda. That’s in one year. The decisions that set all that in motion no longer have relevance in my life except that it all stemmed from my not wanting to be where I was, and thinking I needed to be elsewhere. Those are feelings that still come up for me and they they are always relevant to my life.
The propulsion and yearning for change is very strong in all of us, and for me, is the heart of my meditation practice and following the Buddhist way. How can I honestly and clearly see how this little being has been pushed and pulled by desire and aversion, liking and not liking, approving and dis-approving?
Most of the actions in my life have been informed by a sense that “over there” or “with that one” or “not here” or “not this way” were imperatives that I had little choice to not obey.
Over the years, with my practice settling in a bit, I have not had that imperative feeling so much, instead it has been much more subtle. More in the vein of “I’ll do this series of actions or make this decision with the full confidence that it will all unfold in a way that is good”. (i.e. in a way that I like.)
Yikes! Now there’s an open doorway into the house of delusion.
But, not always. Ultimately, everything is part of the process of life unfolding and the nature of that, is unending teaching for my own good. The hard work lies in the small matter of, will I learn?
And, am I willing to change?
And, am I willing to keep working on the changes?
Morning rumination has it’s moments.
This one is over.
How about them Warriors? World Champions! One fly in the ointment already. Friday is a big victory parade in Oakland. Friday I have doctors appointments, and two other ones that are set in stone, and the traffic will be horrible. Whaaaaaa! Oh, if only the Universe were answerable to my wishes and needs.
I can see the dissolution of
Body and Mind right in front
Of me. Right inside of me. How
Do I learn from this? Being
Still within, and without any
Ideas of life unfolding. It
Doesn’t. It unrolls and becomes